iReminiss

iReminiss

I’ve finally started my official blog and I’m so excited! I call this my official blog, but I do have a Tumblr that I used to use to publish my blogs. Lately, I’ve just been feeling like that’s not where people go to actually sit and read blogs without skimming them and sifting through to the pictures at the end. Plus I have a couple friends on WordPress, so I did my research. I mean Tumblr is entertaining do not get me wrong, I love Tumblr!  I really just wanted somewhere where I could get my blogs out my notepad on my phone, get out what I’m feeling and get serious about this. I want to get some feedback from some fellow bloggers, see if people can feel me. I feel like my story could actually be entertaining for some. Maybe there’s some people out there who can relate to me, how I feel and who I really am inside.

But I’m just a Jersey girl, I’m 23, I’m little and brownskin and people think I’m still in high school. I mean, my story isn’t one for the books by any means, but I also know that what I’ve been through in life has shaped me and helped me become someone different. I find myself in a daze, daydreaming most of the time just sitting and reflecting, replaying memories in my mind. Reminiscing. This is how I began to grow.

At first, Reminiss was just a cute little twitter name I thought of just playing off of my real name, Anissa. But then as I really started blogging and social media, even after I deleted my Twitter I felt like it was fitting for me because of the way that I already am. Then I thought, why not just make this my whole brand? I like the idea of it, because I feel like it’s me, it’s what I’m about. All I want to do is sit around and share my day, share my feelings, share my memories, share my aspirations. I just want to express myself in a way that other people can really feel, I want to connect with people who’ve been through similar situations and circumstances. I just want to tell my story exactly how it is, like we’re sitting hanging out, chatting over tea or something.

iReminiss is my new baby, I’m proud of it. I’m proud of myself for finally just saying “go for it,” and putting my fears and anxieties about it aside. I know that this is something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now and I feel like I’ve finally found my voice. I’m excited because I always have a lot to say and my story is only beginning. This is the beginning of my new journey.  This could be something big, but if it ends up being used only for sheer enjoyment that’d be enough for me!

So if you’re reading this, hello and welcome to iReminiss! Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe! You can also follow me on Tumblr, IG and Snapchat. My YouTube Channel is coming soon. Links on the sidebar!

Fear Not, Love Thyself.

Fear Not, Love Thyself.

You know our senses right, do you know the sense of self? I think maybe because this isn’t a sense that we are born with, but rather one that we acquire through life, that people forget that along with loving others we need to also love ourselves.  I think that fear of failure is something that is a result of failing to give ourselves self love, its something that has held me back from everything I’ve ever started.

“along with loving others..we need to also love ourselves”

The ideas of self- love and fear of failure have been coming up in my life so much lately, in conversation, in blogs, in Will Smith videos, so I feel like I want to share my thoughts about this. I was reading through a post from one of my favorite bloggers, Niki Meadows, where she shares an article written by wellness coach, Dona Winger. This article is so powerful, she talks about how remembering to love ourselves will allow us to overcome when we are facing the fear of failure. It got me thinking about the way these ideas have presented themselves and held me back my entire life.

Growing up I used to have some hobbies that I did really enjoy. I’ve mentioned before that I used to love dance, I used to cheer, I tried track, I played softball and I did gymnastics for like two months. I was really good at many of these, and going to be really great at a few a them if I hadn’t given up at the first sight of things starting to get hard. I quit dance, because starting pointe lessons was way harder than I thought, and required so much discipline and confidence. Track, because I’m to prissy to build stamina, dedicate myself to work outs, and too afraid of running like a girl. Gymnastics, because I didn’t like the thought of potentially hurting myself while learning to flip. The list of excuses really goes on, but overall I began to get so afraid to try and to make mistakes that I told myself that I couldn’t do any of these things. I placed this made up fear in my mind that I couldn’t do these things that I loved.

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It really just followed me from then on, like when I switched high schools I didn’t want to cheer anymore, when I went to college I was so scared to try out for the dance team. Anyone who knows me knows that these were things that I literally used to live for and I could never figure out why I couldn’t push myself to do them anymore. It’s because my sense of self was totally lost and along with that went the loss of my own goals and aspirations, the loss of my ambition, the loss of my interests, all of the things that made me who I was.

What I failed to do was lift myself up and give myself the confidence that I could work through the hard seasons of chasing a dream, and instead I fed my mind lies that I just couldn’t do it. When I was frustrated, I failed to just relax, take a break, and give myself what I needed to regroup and recover from the hard days or from the criticisms. You have to give yourself what you need in order to get back into the swing of things when you get knocked down, because you will get knocked down! And the fear of getting back up cannot allow you to quit.

It wasn’t until I started writing that I really realized that I had this fear of failure, because it held me back from starting my blog. From the minute I ever picked up a journal as I kid it was always, what if someone reads this? And then later with my blog it was the same, what if someone reads this? what if they think this? What if that? But I began to make the conscious effort to stop myself when I began to tell myself that I couldn’t, and to rewind and tell my mind that I could. The mind is powerful and I knew that if there was one thing I wanted to go for and really wanted to pursue, it was writing.  I wouldn’t allow myself to go through life wondering what it would be like if I would’ve blogged, because I too often wonder what life would be like if I would’ve danced or got into competitive cheer. I had to put all of the fears aside, and let myself do what I love. If that means taking a break on days when I’m tired, or just holding off on working on a blog to unwind with a movie when I’m burnt out, I do it. I now do whatever it takes for me to get back up later, because I love myself and I never want to lose this sense ever again. In anything I want to pursue.

Yes, the fear of failure can stop us from all of those things in life that were worth trying, but could easily give up when given the opportunity. However, the fear of failure canNOT get in the way of going for what we’re truly passionate about. Sense of self is like our true sixth sense, it involves constantly loving ourselves and willing our minds so that it won’t allow us to give up.

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-XoReminissy

Sunshine Blogger Award!

Sunshine Blogger Award!

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I’m so honored to have been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by Lambam from Lambam’s World!. This New Year has started off very rough for me to say the least, and it’s been pretty hard for me most days to even muster up the energy to keep going with my blog. I’m so happy that I have continued to push, and get my thoughts out there to the world, and I’m grateful that what I have been publishing has been resonating in so many other people and fellow bloggers. It just gives me the strength to keep going, keep writing and keep my eye on the prize!

So with that said, huge THANK YOU to Lambam, and to everyone who has stopped by, commented, followed and shared my posts on iReminiss! If you guys only knew how hard it was for me to even get going with this and put myself out there, I was literally so scared! Make sure you check out Lambam’s blog, which I’ve linked above. She runs a blog that touches on fashion, lifestyle, beauty and motivation. It’s Sunday so go check out her new series Sunday Breeze where she shares some inspirational posts about God and what He can do for you. I’m excited to keep up with the series, as I love to hear how love for God impacts others in their daily lives. She is an inspiration to myself as I sure she is for many others!

Rules

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you in your blog post and link back to her blog.
  2. Answer 11 questions that the Blogger asked  you.
  3. Nominate 11 new bloggers to receive the awards and write them 11 questions.
  4. List the rules and display the Sunshine blogger award logo in your post on your blog

Here are my answers to Lambam’s 11 questions for me:

  1. Are you an apple or an Android  person?    I’m an apple person!
  2. Is this your first blogging award ?    Yes, this is my first blogging award!
  3. what is your favorite post and why?    I think my favorite post on my blog thus far is Choose Your Vibe. This was a post that I published as the New Year was approaching, and I think that the things that I talked about were what I really wanted to take with me into the New Year. Not necessarily as a New Year’s resolution, but more so as things to continuously live by in life going forward.
  4. How do you stay positive?    I stay positive by praying and always remembering that there is so much to be grateful for in life, no matter how hard our lives may get. I try to smile regardless of what I am going through, and remember my goals and what it is that I am shooting for in life.
  5. What does the word Purpose mean to you?    To me, when I think of the word Purpose I think what did God put me on this Earth to accomplish? I think that every person we meet, job we take, situation we find ourselves in is for a reason. Bringing us closer to what our greater purpose is in this life.
  6. where do you see yourself in five years?    In 5 years, I see myself back in a big city like New York or Los Angeles, working in Mass Communication/ PR.
  7. How did you come with the name of your blog?    The name of my blog goes back to my Twitter days, when everyone was trying to find some clever name that nobody already had. I wanted something that would play off of my name Anissa, and most people who knew me back in High School called me Niss for short. Just like that I randomly thought of Reminiss like the word Reminisce. Its silly, but it stuck with me on all my social media channels. So when I thought of what I wanted the name of my blog to be, I wanted it to also follow along the same brand of my social media, but since my blog felt so much more personal I decided to make it iReminiss.
  8. How has blogging changed your life?    Blogging has changed my life in a lot of different ways. I feel like journaling has always been a part of me ever since I was young. Back in Middle School and High School my best friends and I used to keep conversation books and write notes to each other all the time as a way to really express ourselves through writing. And even at home by myself I felt like writing was a way to express myself and my many feelings.  Nobody really knew, because it was a part of me that I kept hidden from everyone out of fear that they’d find my secrets and think I was just absolutely depressed or something. I’ve always liked to write, but in my mind I wasn’t a good writer. I think that Blogging and more specifically WordPress has changed my life, because now I know that I’m not crazy or depressed for feeling a lot of the things that I feel and it’s comforting connecting with people who have gone through the same things. It’s taught me that my perception of what a good writer is, was all wrong. I had an English teacher in Middle School who always told us that thinking is writing, and I’ve kept that saying with me for so long, because it is.
  9. What is your dream brand to collaborate with?    At this moment, I don’t think I have a dream brand to collaborate with, mainly because I’m not so into brands. But that can change! I’d love to collaborate with a good blogger brand at some point.
  10. What is your favorite place to do “Me time”     My favorite place to do “me time” is at home. I like the comfort and familiarity of just being in my own room, or in my own bed like there’s no place I’d rather be to clear my mind.
  11. What do you want your readers to take away from your blog?    If there’s one thing that I want my readers to take away from my blog its to BE YOU. I think that in life, writing, branding yourself, in whatever, people are going to connect with you and relate to you if you stay true to who you are.

Thank you Lambam for giving me a chance to connect with other bloggers and letting my readers get to know me a little bit more! I loved these questions, they boggled my mind and got me thinking of new posts where I can expand on them!

Here are my 11 nominees:

  1. Whitney from whitneyibeblog.wordpress.com
  2. Beth from blogaboutit.org
  3. Qwania from naturalista4me.com
  4. Niki from nikimeadows.com
  5. Ciarra from ciarralorren.com
  6. Bea from Beafreee.com
  7. Sam from mylifewithoutreligion.com
  8. Paige from currentlylately.com
  9. Treszka from theoliverias.com
  10. Stormgirl from nightmumbles.com
  11. Bianca from ancalogy.com

I love all of your blogs!

Here are my 11 questions for you:

  1. Where are you from?
  2. What does your blogging space consist of?
  3. How do you overcome writer’s block?
  4. What inspired you to start blogging?
  5. What are some of your short term and long term career goals?
  6. How has blogging changed your life?
  7. What types of hobbies do you have besides blogging?
  8. Do you read? If so what types of books and who is your favorite author?
  9. How would the people closest to you describe who you are?
  10. What advice would you give your 16 year old self?
  11. What would you like your readers to take away from your blog?

I’m excited to read all of your responses! 

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-XoReminissy

 

 

Past, Pass, Path.

Past, Pass, Path.

I saw another good video on Facebook the other day, this one was 50 cent sharing his story with the world. I’ve always loved 50, because he’s open with the struggle that he comes from, he’s well spoken, and he used his struggle to fuel him into becoming the person and mogul he is today. I think his story is one that anyone can applaud. He went from growing up in the street, without his parents, overcoming a near death experience, to becoming a rapper, actor, millionaire. Like whaa? He says in the video that your past circumstances cannot define you and the key to success is believing in yourself, even when the odds are totally against you.

I grew up in a small town in Jersey, I think its safe to say that no one around me necessarily had it all. I was really receptive to the way that I grew up though, I knew the struggles that my mom went through to provide for us as a single parent and that’s where all of my ambition stems from. I wasn’t blessed as an athlete or musical genius, but I knew I was good at school. I knew from a young age that excelling in high school and going to college was going to be my way out. I wanted to be the one who broke the cycle, and I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to do well, because for me not being successful wasn’t an option.

Sometimes you have to use your circumstance to your advantage, go against the odds, and challenge the world’s expectation of who you’re supposed to be. If you’re a low income minority with good grades, take advantage of every scholarship, grant and program you can to go to school. Then push yourself to the limit so that you don’t become just another statistic. We all know the stigma surrounding the young 50 Cent: young black kid left with no parents destined for the streets, jail, or death. You decide what happens when you come close to your predestined situations, either you succumb or you decide to believe in yourself and be your own inspiration.

When you start feeling your calling, you have to decide to make the conscious effort to work on whatever that is every single day. You have to do what you have to do for the Man 9-5, then go home and work on your dreams. If you keep reminding yourself what it is that you’re working for, there’s no way that you won’t succeed. 50 said, ” I feel like you can will yourself into a good space. If you believe in yourself, things that are meant to be will.”

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“…you can will yourself into a good space. If you believe in yourself, things that are meant to be will.”

There’s so much truth in this, I believe that the mind is powerful and as long as you keep your mind on the prize you’ll make it. I don’t think anyone should ever get a pass for their past, because its your life’s experiences that shape you and give you a path to become someone greater than your circumstances. I think 50 is right when he says that he doesn’t regret anything, because how could you? We go through all things for a reason: to gain knowledge about the world, about ourselves, about people, about life. So let your past be a path for you, not a pass.

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-XoReminissy

Too Stressed to Repress.

Too Stressed to Repress.

Everybody’s always telling us to forgive and forget. Yea its cliche, but we’ve all battled with this at one time or another. I’ve had a lot of time to think this over and countless examples of how this idea has effected me in my daily life, but I think that I’ve finally started to figure it out. I think that forgiveness is a concept that you have to learn, work on, and continue to work on because its usually never something that’s easy to do. Its sometimes easier to move on and forget the things that cause us pain, because we feel like it hurts less this way, but does it actually hurt less?

Forgiving vs. Forgetting

Forgiving-  enables you to address issues or actions that are hurting you in order to be able to recover.

Forgetting- allows you to repress your feelings.

Repressed feelings are the worst kind. You’re just going about your day, minding your business, one thought leads to another, and then there they are creeping up from behind. Right when you thought you were over it, you’re fixated on all that you went through and suddenly you’re back where you started. I think you have to forgive to forget sometimes, because it’s only then that you can start to fully heal and release the burden of pain.

“Forgiveness is a constant battle between what the heart wants and what the mind won’t let you let go of.”

The art of forgiveness is a little selfish in a way, but when you reach your breaking point and realize that the stress of your feelings is consuming your life, why wouldn’t you choose yourself? It’s tricky because forgiveness is a constant battle between what the heart wants and what the mind won’t let you let go of. I mean, the heart wants what it wants, but how many times does your heart tell you to let go, and your subconscious keeps spitting up the repressed feelings? How many times do you claim to not care about something, but every time you’re upset it’s the first thing you blurt out through your tears?

Hmm, that’s when you know its time to let it go.

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-XoReminissy

Check it Off.

Check it Off.

The New Year is here, but it seems like no matter how hard you tried to leave the stresses of 2017 behind they’re still lurking in the background, trying to make way. Don’t be dismayed, He said that this year wasn’t going to roll in stress free, its all in season in preparation for something great. Yes, it is true that life can get overwhelming at times and some days you feel like giving up. You get your day started early to leave work with a full day to spend, and yet it still seems like there’s so much to do and so little time. But it’s 2018, which means its time to do things a little bit differently!

Time to make a list and check it off!

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If you’re anything like me, the mere thought of doing multiple things after work gives me anxiety. Its like as soon as I think I’ve figured out what all I need to do, something else pops up! I recently started to make a daily “to do” list, and its helping me take a step back and put my day back into perspective. I lay it all out. I write out the phone calls, emails, errands, goals and organize them by what I can get done easiest to most annoying. Then once I’ve completed one, I check it off! You’d be surprised how much a little check mark can ease your mind and get you back on track, while also realizing that you didn’t have that much to do anyway! It’s all in your mind.

It gets harder in the winter months, as this weather can get you down. The days are short and the breeze feels so rigid and cold. The trees sway barren and the frost is just too much to bare. You’ll find that its all short lived. The seasons pass, the sun comes out, the grass gets greener and the flowers bloom from the barren branches. You have to take the toughest seasons day by day and check off one thing at a time!

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-XoReminissy

Patience is a Virtue.

Patience is a Virtue.

I’ve been thinking about how growing up I never finished the things I started. I wasn’t really into sports per say, but I did love dance and cheer, and I actually did like softball and gymnastics when I tried it. I was flexible, I could move, I could be coached, I learned fast and I could remember routines. I never stuck with any of it and I regret it so bad, because all of the time and effort I did put into it went in vain. I didn’t give myself time to develop and now I’ll never know who I could’ve became.

I learned that patience is something I lack that I need more of. It’s like I’ll love to do something, and I aspire to be great at it, but it’s hard for me to endure the wait to greatness. I guess the stress of the idea of failure is scary for me, but no one successful at anything made it on an easy route. I saw a video Will Smith made about failure the other day, and he said that if you’re going to be successful at anything you’re going to have to accept and embrace the idea of failure. He said that you have to constantly push yourself to the limit in order to learn yourself and what you can endure.

It’s true though, because the idea of knowing that pushing yourself can lead to picking up the pieces when you fail is the hardest part. If there’s anything I’ve learned in life thus far is that you should always go for what you want, no matter the mistakes or disappointment it may lead to, because anybody around you that’s actually doing something took the risk. The pain that reminiscing on shoulda coulda woulda is far worse than anything, especially when you realize that you were the only thing standing in your own way of something great.

I think that you have to get yourself to the edge and persevere just when you’re about to crumble, then do or don’t. But constantly thank God for lessons learned when you take that risk, because you’re learning and growing on the way to where you want to be.

Remember that patience is a virtue so be patience with yourself, learn yourself, know yourself and push yourself to the limit. There’s everything to loose if you don’t.

-XoReminissy

Woes.

Woes.

Friend:

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

Hmm, being around people with similar backgrounds and situations always made me feel secure like they can understand what I’m going through. Like for example, working in restaurants was perfect for me in college because everybody there is stressed out, classes pissing us off, guests pissing us off, and bills on a timer just pissing us off! You share the same drive so you’re willing to give up your shift when you’re good and you’re always secretly rooting for them to make what they need by the end of the night. I’ve made some of my best friends being around them, struggling together, growing together and getting to know their stories.

Friendship was always so important to me though, and now I’m not even sure what my definition even means in a sense. Being an ear, a shoulder, a ventilation system, being reciprocal. Sharing a bond of mutual affection.

Sometimes I feel like friendship can ruin you. If you let it, (I guess) when all of those things are lacking for you. You begin to doubt your own judgment of people. I don’t know, I guess it has to be mutual so it’s normal in life when you grow up to grow apart from people and it’s weird because, how can grow up with a person and then grow apart from them? Seeing them grow made you excited and you used to look back at each other and see how far you’ve come. You think you’re always going to be around for everything life changing and then one day they no longer know anything about you. Rekindling seems pointless and the pain it leaves stings when you remember that one crazy time you laughed so hard together.

I mean aside from your siblings, and way aside from your parents, they’re the ones who know you the best. They listen, don’tnever judge, and somehow make everything alright, so how is it that they can become your family and then they just disappear into the past? One day you’re so similar then next thing you’re not. I guess the keyword really does have to be mutual. Whatcha think?

-XoReminissy

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