Red Table Talk’s Surviving Loss
First off this show is great, and I’m not sure how I didn’t even know about this talk show, I think more people should check it out!
In this segment, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Jones, open up and talk about how to survive the losses you will face in life. What really resonated in me was Willow Smith opening up and talking about the loss of herself. Not many people realize that this is, a real thing.
I found myself going through this in high school after I moved from Jersey. I guess, nobody actually thought moving would affect me the way that it did, but it was honestly the most traumatic experience for me. No, I wasn’t harming myself in any physical way, but I just remember isolating myself really bad. I’d wake up and just cry, I went to school and I cried, I cried in class. It was the deepest, unexplainable feeling of sadness that I had ever felt. I remember just not wanting to do anything I used to love doing, I didn’t want to be around people, I just felt like I really didn’t know who I even was anymore. I’d lost myself. Everything I did felt forced, and I got tired of trying so I just went on with my days, in a fog, existing.
And its like Willow said, there was nothing tangible that I could associate my sadness with, so that made me feel more guilty and alone. I tried to convince myself that I was just over exaggerating my feelings; and honestly, there is no such thing! After a while people just stopped feeling sorry for me, and expected me to move on, but they didn’t understand that I just couldn’t. The worst feeling was just seeing the lives of everybody I was so close to go on regardless of me, and that I couldn’t do the same.
Its crazy, because watching this show put everything I ever felt into words. I really applaud the Smith family, because it’s evident that they cultivated the curiosity of their children while they were growing up. Which is what you should do, because even though we may have children, our offspring are just that. They are their own person, they have their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, interest, energy, and we should always be free to explore who we are. Once we find ourselves, that’s what we should forever hold on to.
Which brings me to my point.
In this life, being fake gets you absolutely nowhere, and quiet frankly its exhausting. I know I’m guilty of always thinking, wow… I wonder what happened to this celebrity, their music was so good, why’d they stop singing? But you can have multiple gifts, you can do whatever you want, and Willow answered my question when she said she knew that she could be good at something other than music, even though thats what the people around her wanted her to pursue, just so that they could keep whipping their hair.
Sometimes when you think about your purpose, you’ll find yourself getting lost, and losing yourself, but only if you succumb to the idea of what everyone else’s vision of you should be. You’ll thrive much more in life when you take the mindset of staying true to yourself into everything you do. Relationships are more meaningful, jobs are more enjoyable and life is more beautiful…💋