Going through life, it’s crazy how certain people and the things they tell you always seem to stick with you. You find your self in a situation and the most unlikely person starts becoming your inner voice. Ive been thinking about the 90210 video a lot lately, I guess because in the video Travie be looking at himself talking to his Granny. That’s really how it is though. You be looking at yourself in the mirror talking to the you you used to be, speaking all kinds of life into yourself.
I’ve been surprised at who my inner voice has become lately, telling me to go everywhere and do everything. It told me recently that you can’t fall in love with potential and it was telling me years ago that I’m an independent Queen, and that I don’t need nobody. Now its telling me to unclip my wings.
Ain’t it also crazy how music has that power to evoke a kind of nostalgia in you that you forgot existed? I was listening to Closer by Goapole this morning and I literally cried, because I had the most familiar feeling of chasing my dreams. I was thinking back to when my blog was nothing more than just words in my iPhone in my notepad, and the day I decided to write my first blog I wrote, “I’m grown and I have grown. Mood: Content. Song: Closer.”
I almost never read my old blogs, I just write them and leave them where they are as my way of leaving my feelings right there on the page. I was shocked reading this one though, I had forgot all about it. But I know myself well enough to know that I’m back in that same exact mindset. The one where I know where I’m going, and in what direction I’m heading. Reading through that blog, I was talking to myself from May 2017 and I was telling myself some real shit. Oh the beauty of leaving words behind, for real. I guess if I would’ve actually read it over, and took the advice, I would’ve never let someone come swoop me off my feet with some nonsense. Then proceed to fall head over heels, right out of my frame of mind.
If old habit serves me correctly, (and it will) I’d say I’m right on track to have someone come creeping in out of the corner of my eye and throw me right off track, but it’s not going to happen. Not a chance. I won’t even put myself in the position to take one mere step backward, because I’ve been thinking way too much about where I want to be in a couple years. And it’s lightyears away from here. Deep down I know that RVA can’t be where I stay, because it was never the plan. I came here on a mission to evolve and to move forward and now I’m craving a different kind of energy, a certain kind of artistry, and I’ve got a feeling there’s finally a different city calling my name. I got this nervous itch now, because I know it’s coming sooner than I know.
I just hope I’m ready.
But I’ve been ready. If my vibe had an age I’d say I’ve been 24 all along. I’ve just been patiently getting my ducks in a row and bobbing and weaving through the bad apples. I just hope that everybody on my team right now, at this moment, stays on my team forever. I finally got my team! Their paths aligned with mine at precisely the right moment and now their voices the only ones in my head now pushing me to move forward.
Whose voices you got running through your head?
Better make sure it’s the right ones, because there’s plenty of people out here watching your every move. Preying and praying on your downfall, ready to bite off anything just to get that energy you got. Surround yourself with nothing but positivity, good vibes and Lord, good energy. Energy is literally EVVerything. Be where you can fly and beware of those out here just trying to clip your wings.💋