Autumn Blues.

Autumn Blues.

Hello October,

I’m so happy you came, you’re usually good to me. Your autumn breeze is crisp and fruitful and it brings with it a much needed abundance and prosperity. I hope this year is no different, because I’m starting to feel like I need to start over. I need to get back to doing everything I had planned to do before everything got out of control. If I could just pick up and leave tomorrow, I’d leave it all behind. My apartment, my car, my job, all of it, all tangible and easily replaceable. I heard all you really need is a dollar and a dream, people pick up and move away with nothing but the clothes on their backs all the time. They make it.

So what’s stopping me?

I have a weird attachment to this city, but it’s nothing more than that. RVA has always been the city I ran away to, the one I leaned on to escape from whatever I was going through, to be on my own and feel free, but now I feel shackled like there’s nothing here for me anymore. I feel like its finally time to move on. Remember in RVA Blues, when I said that this felt like the perfect place to start over? Well it was, the sun shined in on me every morning, and at night the moonlight did the same, and though tables have turned, I’ve still got the blues. I’ve got more of an autumn blues now I guess, my spirit is low, but the season is changing and I’ve got a bold, deep, longing for something new.

I’m just not sure if I’ll really be ready when opportunity comes knocking, I’m not sure if I have the courage to move away to a foreign city, and I’m not sure if my writing is really good enough to take me places. But, I believe it will. It’s time to ignite this fire within me.

In church this past week the pastor preached about being courageous enough to let the world see your light. Well I am the light, I’m just undiscovered and patiently waiting on that one opportunity that’ll change my life forever, my big break.

I’m hoping that it’ll take me away to some place where I can breathe more easily, where I won’t have to look over my shoulder. Some place where I can continue to move forward with my writing and begin to create something. I’m looking for a new city to adopt me, to  take me under its wing and cultivate me. I wanna immerse myself in a new vibe, try some new food, drink some new brews and collaborate with some new individuals.

I’ve got my eye on a city, can you guess it? I’ve been planting seeds there, I wonder if its where I’ll actually end up.

I heard too that the words I am have the power to change your life. Well if that’s true then I am a writer. I am busting out of this city! I am ready to embark on a new journey elsewhere. I am destined to be successful. I am here, with a purpose to change the world.💋

 

2 thoughts on “Autumn Blues.

  1. “…and I’m not sure if my writing is really good enough”. It is very, very good, and you should drop any doubts. This post is the in fact the best evidence. It reminds me a lot of Marina Keegan’s “The opposite of loneliness”, a text she became so famous with (unfortunately, only postmortem). It is very clear and comprehensible. The wish to find a new start in life at a distant place is very human, but I have doubts that it will go so easily. Im am not a very religious mind (perhaps in contrast to you), but the biblical theme of staying at the place where God has called you has a certain reason in my eyes. Unless a place is so hostile that for ones own safety it is better to leave, I would prefer to stay and start a new period of life right the next morning. I’ve never been to RVA, but I guess like anywhere else, there is both beauty and uglyness, both peace and violence. One will hardly find a place in the entire universe that is an eternal paradise.

    Liked by 1 person

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