Redemption.

Redemption.

It feels good to be back on my shit.

Sorry, but it does.

I feel like this summer was for healing. As soon as I started breathing again, all I did was blink and the season is gone. I can’t believe fall is creeping up already, but I’m ready.

I’ve always loved fall, to me its like the season of transformation. For years it signified a new year, with school back in session and a fresh semester to get back on it and exceed last years expectations. Maybe that’s what I needed.

Nicole told me she missed the old me, the me that was happy and smiling and grinding.

Well I missed the old me too.

Despite all the set backs, stress and conflicting opinions of some, I’m going back to school. I’m going back to school, because I honestly never wanted to go to a 4 year college in the first place. I wanted to go to trade school, because I’m a creative and I like to learn with my hands and express myself through art. I’m not trying to waste years working for someone else, climbing the corporate ladder, constantly missing steps and falling on the way up.

Of course when I said it back then, no one thought it was a practical idea and everyone said I should go to business school. And not that I didn’t learn anything valuable in college, but trades are underrated. If there’s one thing you can take with you anywhere it’s a trade, and job placement with a trade in this market, where everyone has a degree seems a lot higher than with a Bachelors at this point. So hey, I made it happen.

My Aunt Sharon told me that I’ve always been quiet, then explosive and that she knew one day I would explode into greatness and there’d be no stopping me. Oooh, I got that ambition stress again, and I know because its getting hard to sit still. I’m busy taking every chance and opportunity that comes my way. If you know me, you know that that means I’m back. Once I get focused its hard to stop me, because I’ll do whatever it takes. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Silently doing everything that I said I would. So stay tuned, this season is my redemption.💋

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Anissa Lachelle.

Anissa Lachelle.

I heard the other day that our names have a deeper meaning than we think. My name is Anissa Lachelle and if you really know me, and grew up with me, you know how much stress my name has caused me. I’m always having to correct people on the pronunciation, because people almost never say it right. When I’m at Starbucks or something and they have to write my name on my cup, I cringe and I have to say my name is Melissa so I don’t look like an ass repeating myself a hundred times.

People always ask me what my name means, so I googled it yesterday and it popped up in the Urban Dictionary. Surprisingly, I felt like this was oddly accurate.

I used to think my name was just some weird name, and I always felt so ordinary, so I wished that I had a more ordinary name. But I guess I have a unique name, because I’m extraordinary and destined for greatness. Time to embrace it, it’s who I am. It’s all right there.💋

Actions Speak Louder.

Actions Speak Louder.

I don’t think I could ever be with an actor. I mean, an actor can literally play the role so how would you know if they’re telling the truth? How would you know what character they decided to play for you?

I’m learning to spend more time getting to now the character of a person, because chances are if someone would do something fucked up to someone else, they’d probably do the same to you. I used to have the mentality that since I’m in a relationship with someone they’d ride for me the way I’d ride for them. And when I say relationship, I mean romantic or plutonic, because friendships are relationships too.

I’d assume it was a given, but sadly most people are just thinking of themselves in relationships. The decisions they make and things they do revolve around what’s convenient for them and they play it off like it’s all about us.

Hmm.

Character of a person is important. Certain character traits can tell you about a person’s values, morals, intentions. More importantly it’ll tell you how they will react in certain situations. Are they easily angered? Do they keep their word? Are they loyal?

I wonder what its actually like to date an actor, how do you know which character they’re putting on that day? I admit I fall victim to words. Even though actions speak way louder, I hold on to them while people just tell me what they think I want to hear. I admit I have a bad habit of taking everyone at face value and of expecting everyones word to be their bond. But I thought that’s just how it should be, right?

You know when certain actors play a role so well that you wonder if they’re really just being themselves? That’s scary. I learned that it can get a little tricky dealing with people who can easily flip their script and play a certain situational role, like easily playing Mr. Nice Guy with their shit together in company, but behind closed doors they’re crumbling and don’t have a clue of how to react when shit starts hitting the fan. I can’t deal with that.

I feel like courting someone is very important. You need time to learn their character, to let all their truths come spilling out like vomit, and learn who they really are behind closed doors. Their intentions and words should always be backed up by action.

Like, what character are you today?

💋

 

 

Wise Thoughts.

Wise Thoughts.

I read a good quote today, it kind of summed up everything I had already been pondering. Wisdom, and the importance of making wise choices and decisions has been on my mind lately, then it hit me. We need to surround ourselves with more wise individuals during our life journey. People stop by to give us valuable information every day, but the question is are we listening and paying attention?

I guess Ghandi found me today and left me with this, so here’s some words from the wise.💋

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

-Gandhi

Ode to 07065.

Ode to 07065.

Shout out to my city!

Feeling a little far from home lately. I’ve found myself on spur of the moment road trips from Va to Jersey twice now. It’s funny, because when I go I don’t really know what it is that I’m searching for. It’s more of a yearning for something, but it’s so far into my past that I can’t grab it anymore.

When I come home now, I kind of feel like I don’t belong. Maybe I don’t anymore, maybe my time there passed a long time ago; but its still a place that I carry really near to my heart. Each time I’ve left there recently, it feels like I brought back another peace of the old me. Maybe I just had to be reminded of where I came from. I’ve always wondered why I felt so uncomfortable here in VA, eyes are always on me like I’m a tourist. I guess it’s because deep down they know I don’t belong to Virginia, and they know I never will.

Where I’m from I believe everyone had potential. As many sports and activities that I threw myself into, they were always backed by people who really believed in us. I feel like even through school our teachers gave us so much support, they were always looking out for us and giving us opportunity to take ourselves to the next level. Like, what happened to that?

Never have I been somewhere where I needed to question the intentions of someone, or wonder if someone was genuine or if someone really had my back. We were taught how how to support each other and lift each other up, how to be loyal and how to be down for the ride. These are the people who still inspire me the most today.

I remember when I first thought about starting my blog. I noticed that two of my old friends Ciarra and Bea both had a WordPress, and successful ones too. Other old friends breaking out as pageant queens, business owners, dancers, artists, athletes, designers. It’s crazy because you literally have people everyday moving away to places like New York or LA to chase their dreams. But what happens when you go 40 min outside the city? You find Rahway, NJ with all the stars right there, grinding and working to pursue everything.

It’s a funny story how I came to Rahway, but I truly believe that I was always meant to end up there. If it weren’t for some of the people I met, people who mentored me, and the connections I have gained I don’t think I would be where I am today.

So shout out to my city! We’re all grown up now and gone our separate ways, but I see everybody out here grinding, working so hard. I love seeing everybody doing well and chasing their dreams.

Never forgetting from where I came, love always.💋

Quote

The Power of Women Empowerment | Danielle —

Read a great blog today on empowering women, something I think the world needs to do more of.

Check out myvicariouslifeblog.com for more!💋

 

Hello beautiful people, Today I will be highlighting Danielle in this weeks “The Power of Women Empowerment”. 1. Tell us a little bit about yourself + what it is you do and where can we find you on social media? My name is Danielle Sanders. I’m a 43 year old single mom of three. In […]

via The Power of Women Empowerment | Danielle —

Growing Pains.

Growing Pains.

I had to sit down and talk to God this morning, because I’ve just been feeling overwhelmed.  I’ve been having a strange anxiety sitting with me all the time now, but it’s more because of the pace at which everything is shifting. I guess looking back, I had a fear of letting go and cutting my losses. Of knowing when to say when; because there’s always that thought of what’s awaiting on the other side of the pain.

It really is all math though like Quiñ said, because in life there’s almost always gains where there’s losses. I’ve lost many things dear to me over the past few years, a plethora of things really. But even through the pain, for everything I’ve lost or grown apart from, something new came in its place.

I’ve lost relationships for a time, and came back to them with a totally new perspective. I’ve lost some for good, and learned how to open up to new people and accept new friendships. I’ve lost jobs or have had to give them up so a new opportunity would present itself. I’ve lost my apartment and got a better one, like you just have to roll with everything because it all works out somehow.

It does get uncomfortable, because underneath the excitement of every situation or opportunity there’s always that fear that creeps up. Especially now that everything is unfolding and I don’t even know how its happening. There’s a part of me that keeps wanting to doubt myself and tell myself that I’m not capable of running my own business, but then when I look deeper it’s already happening. It’s more of a mindset though, like I just conduct myself like a business.

Closer on repeat again this morning, because I have to keep reminding myself that I’m just growing, and it’s uncomfortable but I have to just roll with it. There’s a quote I always think about, it’s something like to be where you want to be, you have to go where you’ve never been. If you take this and just apply it to everything, whether thats people, places, routes, paths, whatever, it would make sense that opportunity awaits in everything you’ve never done.

In relationships they call it growing apart not only when you’re moving in different directions, but especially when you’re growing and they aren’t. But sometimes its your job you grow apart from or your best friend too. I mean it’s fine, because I know now that I’ve been on both sides, and sometimes you have to let go of the things that grow away and seek opportunity elsewhere. Those are things you just have to accept.

Learn how to move through your losses. Swim through them, fly through them, navigate through them to opportunity. Learn the lessons, recognize your growth, and accept the change. I keep saying it, get with the right energy because with out it theres absolutely no growth.💋

Let’s talk about Sex.

Let’s talk about Sex.

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Hey everybody!

Guess what?

That’s right it’s been a while, but I’m back again with A Seat at the Table Podcast! This time I’ve manage to take a seat at the table and get into the discussion about celibacy and exactly how much you should disclose to your partner about your past. I’m so excited to share this experience, because it was so much fun!

At first, I’m not gonna lie, I was uncomfortable. Just at the thought of doing my first actual interview. I was psyching myself out a little bit, and trying to convince myself that I shouldn’t do this. Maybe it was the topic of celibacy too. I was like I don’t know if I should get this personal on my blog, but you know what?

This is real life, so we talk about real life here.

I told myself that this is an opportunity for so many different things. It was an opportunity to learn, and to come together with people with similar mindsets. We’ve all got that burning drive inside that leads us all in the same direction.

Forward.

If it’s one thing about me, I love being around people who say what they have to say and get right to the point. Getting the chance to actually sit with A Seat at the Table and hear their many points of views and perspectives was mind blowing. All of their voices are so powerful, each one just demands attention. I feel honored to have shared this moment with them, because I know one day really soon we’re going to be looking back saying this moment changed our lives.

Thank you so much A Seat at the Table Podcast for having me as a special guest on your show! It still just blows my mind that there are really people out here that care what I have to say.

Everyone click the link to visit A Seat at the Table Podcast on Soundcloud to hear my iReminiss interview and hop into the discussion about sex, celibacy and relationships. What do you think, is it never too late to wait?

Let us know. Click here to listen.💋

 

 

Fly.

Fly.

Oh, Mondazeeee.

Going through life, it’s crazy how certain people and the things they tell you always seem to stick with you. You find your self in a situation and the most unlikely person starts becoming your inner voice. Ive been thinking about the 90210 video a lot lately, I guess because in the video Travie be looking at himself talking to his Granny. That’s really how it is though. You be looking at yourself in the mirror talking to the you you used to be, speaking all kinds of life into yourself.

I’ve been surprised at who my inner voice has become lately, telling me to go everywhere and do everything. It told me recently that you can’t fall in love with potential and it was telling me years ago that I’m an independent Queen, and that I don’t need nobody. Now its telling me to unclip my wings.

Ain’t it also crazy how music has that power to evoke a kind of nostalgia in you that you forgot existed? I was listening to Closer by Goapole this morning and I literally cried, because I had the most familiar feeling of chasing my dreams. I was thinking back to when my blog was nothing more than just words in my iPhone in my notepad, and the day I decided to write my first blog I wrote, “I’m grown and I have grown. Mood: Content. Song: Closer.”

I almost never read my old blogs, I just write them and leave them where they are as my way of leaving my feelings right there on the page. I was shocked reading this one though, I had forgot all about it. But I know myself well enough to know that I’m back in that same exact mindset. The one where I know where I’m going, and in what direction I’m heading. Reading through that blog, I was talking to myself from May 2017 and I was telling myself some real shit. Oh the beauty of leaving words behind, for real. I guess if I would’ve actually read it over, and took the advice, I would’ve never let someone come swoop me off my feet with some nonsense. Then proceed to fall head over heels, right out of my frame of mind.

Now.

If old habit serves me correctly, (and it will) I’d say I’m right on track to have someone come creeping in out of the corner of my eye and throw me right off track, but it’s not going to happen. Not a chance. I won’t even put myself in the position to take one mere step backward, because I’ve been thinking way too much about where I want to be in a couple years. And it’s lightyears away from here. Deep down I know that RVA can’t be where I stay, because it was never the plan. I came here on a mission to evolve and to move forward and now I’m craving a different kind of energy, a certain kind of artistry, and I’ve got a feeling there’s finally a different city calling my name. I got this nervous itch now, because I know it’s coming sooner than I know.

I just hope I’m ready.

But I’ve been ready. If my vibe had an age I’d say I’ve been 24 all along. I’ve just been patiently getting my ducks in a row and bobbing and weaving through the bad apples. I just hope that everybody on my team right now, at this moment, stays on my team forever. I finally got my team! Their paths aligned with mine at precisely the right moment and now their voices the only ones in my head now pushing me to move forward.

Whose voices you got running through your head?

Better make sure it’s the right ones, because there’s plenty of people out here watching your every move. Preying and praying on your downfall, ready to bite off anything just to get that energy you got. Surround yourself with nothing but positivity, good vibes and Lord, good energy. Energy is literally EVVerything. Be where you can fly and beware of those out here just trying to clip your wings.💋