Mirror, Mirror.

Mirror, Mirror.

“You need to  surround yourself with people and things that you vibe with or that make you happy and focus on them. Always. Forget everyone and everything else that doesn’t.”

In church this week, the Pastor preached about how sometimes we all need to just take a step back and assess ourselves. Assess the way we smell, the way we come off to others. He said that often times we wonder why people sometimes don’t want to be around us, be our friend etc., and how we end up blaming other people for the vibe that we are creating and giving off to others.

I can most definitely say that energies and vibes are all around us and I’d also say that I’ve always been receptive to the vibes of others. I’m sure that many other people can say the same. Have you ever had that one person whose spirit always seems to uplift you? Or that someone in your life who manages to drain you of your energy? Or that person who always seems to rub you the wrong way, but you just can’t figure out why? Bad vibes. Its almost like they do have a strange stench, and we find ourselves unknowingly turning up our noses and bending up our faces in response to someones presence.

Being back in Richmond has me thinking a lot about college and the person I was during my years in school. All I can say is that I guess I wasn’t fully prepared to start becoming some one else in a place that felt so unfamiliar, and even though I did have some really good moments it was hard to be in a time where it felt like I was constantly juggling my life. I was working, doing work- study, trying to get some sleep, get good grades, trying to get to class and pass them, and I was around people who I desperately wanted to understand me. I was emotional and my presence wasn’t always a good one, because I barely even understood myself. As a result, I had a vibe that that I disliked, and the people around me probably disliked it too. Because no one wants to be around a constant negative energy, it’s too much of a burden to bare.

When I first started blogging I wrote a post about choosing your vibe and finding ways to protect it, but I feel like the first step is absolutely taking an outside look at yourself and figuring out if you can even bare your own energy. Sometimes the energy you give off is a result of your own mind and circumstances, but you need to ask yourself if you’re that Negative Nancy of the group. Are you that person who stinks? If so, then you need to  surround yourself with people and things that you vibe with or that make you happy and focus on them. Always.

Forget everyone and everything else that doesn’t. 

-XoReminissy

RVA Blues.

RVA Blues.

Everyone expects to graduate from college after years of focus and dedication and land their dream job right away. And although it seems like the idea of it is, nothing short of deserved, it usually isn’t the case for most people. It definitely wasn’t like that for me. I chose a major that was interesting to me and and fun to learn, but when I got into the workplace I found that maybe it really wasn’t my thing. I tried it. I tried management, I tried sales, I tried Human Resources, I tried customer service, I tried restaurant, I tried recruiting. I tried writing.

Since college, I feel like I’ve been bouncing around everywhere. From town to town, job to job. And now I’m stuck in rut because I feel like I know what I want to pursue, but just not how to pursue it fully.

Until now, I was kind of embarrassed that I’m in a new role like every few months, or going back to serving every time I quit a place. It was starting to become a joke where my managers were betting how long it would be until I’d be back again. But aside from that, every job has potential to teach you skills that you’ll be able to take with you to any job.

When I look back, every one of those jobs taught me something vital to my success in anything. I learned how to be administrative, I learned how to interact with people, be prompt,  I learned how to manage, how to pitch myself, there’s literally a million things. If pursuing writing means I need to have these things in order to be able to start a free lancing business, I already have those skills so why not. Skills are instilled.  You bring whatever skills you have, or acquire, to the table in anything you go after.

I got to talk to an old professor recently, Dr. Mier. He checks in on us from time to time. I was telling him about how I’m going through this post- collegiate blues. What stood out to me, aside from his new consulting firm, was how he just told me that it sounds like I’m doing great, and that it sounds like I’m figuring it out. It’s true though, I figured out that I really do like writing so why shouldn’t I pursue it? I just need to keep telling myself that I have what it takes to be successful in running my own business. And him starting a consulting firm makes me realize that you should just go after whatever makes you happy. Where do you derive happiness?

I realized I shouldn’t be all that embarrassed. I don’t see the point in spending time in any career that you find early on that you just cannot see yourself doing for 30, 40 years. Like no, that’s just not how I am. I’m absolutely not knocking anyone who does that, I’m just saying that I personally just cannot imagine hating my job until I retire. I derive happiness from staying intrigued and busy and challenged, but unbothered and autonomous and entertained, all at the same time. And I think that many of these things could come with working for myself, it could be very rewarding and fun!

The post collegiate blues can be hard to go through and get over. Shifting your main focus from studying and going to class, to bills and chasing your dreams kind of seems like night and day. Just remember to chase the things in life that you’re drawn to do, and things that make you happy doing it. And even if you absolutely hate a job or have hated a job and never want to look back at it, it’s never a total loss. You’d be surprised how much more prepared you will feel in life if you just look back on jobs or on any negative experience in life with a positive mindset and realize the gains.

Well, I’m back in RVA now and this is the first time in the three times that I’ve been back that I actually feel like I know what I’m doing, thank God for that. There’s art everywhere, the view is good, the city lights are bright and there’s a mural outside my window that makes me feel like I’m getting a new chance. The energy is inspiring, it feels like the perfect place to start over, and this time with a purpose.

-XoReminissy

Blogmas day 11: Get back to, you.

Blogmas day 11: Get back to, you.

Sighh!

Christmas shopping is actually really annoying. Luckily I live close to the mall, but why are the stores so crowded every single time of day? I can see why people just save themselves the trouble and just shop online, but then what do I do when I need tangible things? I have to touch and sniff everything I need!

Honestly, after adding this to my day I just need to come home and clean up to clear my mind. I need to do repetitive stuff to clear my mind, it’s like it’s so easy to focus on without actually focusing on it. It’s pretty strange, but I love cleaning it’s so good for anxiety. I digress, but for a good purpose. I’m just trying to stress the fact that I need to recharge myself and recollect when I get home. I need to go sit by myself and daydream. No music no nothing just chill, relax, breathe.

There’s just something so intangible about taking the time to just sit and understand yourself, understand your own feelings. I love being able to, but I think it took a lot of practice to sit and listen to myself and actually hear what I’m saying. I guess I really need that time in my day because other people’s vibes and energies can be so draining. Its like they’re just projecting on to me all day, it is so stressful. That’s why I hate the stores!

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Maybe that’s why people meditate and what have you to help with things like that…I don’t know. I just never understood how important it was for me until like, just now. I just like to take the time to just recharge and get back to, ya know, me.

-XoReminissy

Blogmas Day 4: Keep Up the Momentum.

Blogmas Day 4: Keep Up the Momentum.

Okay, so my attempt at Blogmas didn’t quite go as planned being that I only did day one so far, and it really wasn’t even Christmas related, and that’s okay I make my own rules! I digress but, I’m going to get back on it. It’s actually harder than I thought to blog every day because some days I just don’t feel inspired. Either I’m tired from my day, got sidetracked or I just don’t feel that bloggy. 

But even though we are tired, it’s said that we shouldn’t spend all day working for someone else and then come home and not work on our own dreams and aspirations. Hmm, that’s true. Of course, the pressure of life’s demands can get overwhelming at times, and it seems like there’s just not enough time to fit in what we want to do after spending so much time doing everything we have to do. Yea, everything we planned to do sounds great in our minds, but once we get around to it, our bodies are telling us something different. Lay down, get to it later. I mean, more than once a week I get up for work and I’m just like no, and I get off from work and I’m just like no, then I get home from work and I’m just like no! I don’t wanna!

We’re working towards our dream job, one that when we get it won’t actually feel like work. On the other hand, we’ve all had jobs that we don’t particularly like or what we’re doing has nothing to do with our degrees. It doesn’t make sense to us, but sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do. We take that job serving nights in college so we can work and go to school, we work that internship before serving for no pay so we can get that experience, we take that entry- level opportunity after school just to get our feet wet. These sacrifices enable us to save a little room to grow later.

There comes a time where we should consider the things that we aren’t satisfied with in life and find ways to change it. It’s hard because we have to learn how to use the things that we are unsatisfied with, to enable us to chase our dreams. Make the sacrifice and push yourself then keep up the momentum! Make a schedule and stick to it, set attainable goals, but don’t sell yourself short. Working on our own goals should make putting up with the things that enable us to work on our dreams worth it in the end. Because it will be worth it in the end!

I’m back on for Blogmas y’all!

-XOReminissy

A blogger and A Gamer, What It’s Really Like.

A blogger and A Gamer, What It’s Really Like.

I love being home, I grew into it though because I wasn’t like this as a teenager at all. Before being home felt like punishment, and my mom would always tell me that one day I’d enjoy being “bored”. It’s not even that now I enjoy being bored, it’s just that after a long day I just enjoy the peacefulness of being at home where everything is in order. It’s just a vibe at my house. The wines flowing, blunts burning, and the RnB is always playing. But then I forgot to mention the clicking. img_0429

I live with a gamer. Now, I mean if you’ve ever done this before you’d know that this is like having your mans best friend living in your living room…forever. There’s always cords and gadgets everywhere, remotes and controllers under my butt when I sit, but it’s funny though because it’s actually pretty entertaining to sit and watch. It looks so real. I forget it’s not even the TV playing when I’m watching 2k or Call of Duty. A typical day with this Xbox living in my house consists of me coming home to a bunch of click, click clicking, yelling at the TV and shit talking in the mic. I don’t even know how I manage to still think in peace! I just sit, and think and write, because I don’t even need much to do that. I’m just grateful for the headphones. I’m sure every gamer girlfriend is thankful for those gamer headphones where they can’t hear a damn thing when they play and neither can we. Thank you, Lord.

Blogging and gaming are so similar though, because in general people who do it probably like interacting with other people who just enjoy doing the same thing as them.  Gaming and blogging are communities, and at the end of the day bloggers want other bloggers to see their work, and share their stories. Gamers want other people to see them play games and talk shit to other people who think they’re better than them. I mean pretty much the same, right? What I mean is that we both want to let people into our personalities to see what we’re really like when we’re not just in our heads.

The key here is support, be with someone who supports your goals, who gets excited that you’re excited and wants get in your head and grow with you. Ultimately, if you’re going to be with someone maybe you should possibly be a little interested in what they’re into too. I mean if they’re passionate about it, it’s what’s going to keep them up at night so it’s what going to keep you up at night. When I’m woken up by all the shit talking and the clicking in the live stream, I just tell myself that this is what makes us happy and what probably brought us together. Every now and then, I’ll hop in the stream to see who’s in the chat and what everybody’s talking about just as I’m sure my guy reads my blogs.

This is us though, not too often you find someone who vibes the same way you do. So when you do, take some time out to show your girl or guy that you care. I watch his live stream while he reads my blog, that’s an A for sheer love and support!

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-XOreminissy